20 Shocking Sales Stats That Will Change How You Sell

Businessman talking on cell phone and writing in office

I came across this post years ago on LinkedIn. I found that it really helped me to get a sense of where I was going and how I could make better sales. This was definitely something I needed during my brokering years, when I was only making commissions as my source of income.

Those were the good old days.  Nothing makes you a better sales person than when you’re forced to sell or not eat.  It’s a hard knock life out there and honestly most jobs require that you know how to sell, at least in some capacity.  The key is to be persistent, use follow-up, be creative and use all avenues to generate income.

So whether you are a novice, or are a seasoned sales person, this is a good cheat sheet to help you keep your priorities in line.

I’m leaving the link at the bottom, but here it is summed up:

  • 92% of all customer interactions happen over the phone.
    • Yes, making phone calls is probably the best and most efficient way to get new business.  I make an effort to call all my clients.
    • If I have bad news or if I have something urgent, I’ll make sure to do it over the phone.
    • I’m not sure if this includes text messages, but I’ve found text messages to be highly efficient for an immediate response.
  • It takes an average of 8 cold call attempts to reach a prospect.
    • Follow up, follow-up, follow up.
    • I take it a step further and follow-up via text, phone and email.
    • If someone isn’t ready to buy now, I always ask, “when will you foresee that you’ll be ready.”  I don’t let people go without a timeline of when to call next.
  • The best time to cold call is between 4:00 and 5:00 pm.
    • I personally find, 5:00pm-7:00pm is also pretty productive.  People are done with work or are finishing up and are more likely available to take calls.
  • 35-50% of sales go to the vendor that responds first
    • OMG, yes! This is probably the most annoying thing about sales.  When people are shopping to buy something, it’s usually very urgent, so they call everyone who sells what they’re looking for.  Being the first person contacted and responding WILL help your closing ratio.
    • My issue is that you always have to be available to cater to clients that need immediate attention.  Don’t forget about work-life balance.
  • 80% of sales require 5 follow-up calls after the meeting 44% of sales reps give up after 1 follow up.
    • If you were able to get a meeting, you should be able to do 5 follow ups minimum.  The effort to get a meeting is hard enough, quitting after 1 followup makes the meeting wasteful.
  • Thursday is the best day to prospect, Wednesday is the second best day.

 

  • Nearly 13% of all the jobs in the U.S are full-time sales positions.
    • Pretty much all the work I’ve ever done has been sales. Perfume sales, product sales, real estate sales.  Sales isn’t for the faint of heart.
  • Over one trillion dollars are spent annually on sales forces.

 

  • In a typical firm with 100-500 employees, an average of 7 people are involved in most buying decisions

 

  • 78% of salespeople using social media outsell their peers.

 

  • Email is almost 40X better at acquiring new customers than Facebook and Twitter.
    • Email is king in terms of converting sales.
    • Don’t forget the power of an email newsletter or subscription list.  I’ve gotten some really great clients from my subscription list.
    • Just remember you need a large email list before you can see it work its magic.  I think I had 1000 emails before I started getting people reaching out from the list.
  • Salespeople who actively seek out and exploit referrals earn 4 to 5 times more than those who don’t.
    • Hell, some of my best opportunities have been from referrals.
    • Don’t underestimate the power of “word of mouth”
  • 91% of customers say they’d give referrals.  Only 11% of sales people ask for referrals.
    • Referral clients are king!  It’s a free way to grow your business, I say why not!\
  • Only 13% of customers believe a sales person can understand their needs.
    • The client always thinks they know better. It’s our job to manage expectations and explain what we are selling.
  • 55% of the people making their living in sales don’t have the right skills to be successful
    • A lot of people do it part-time!  A lot of people don’t treat it like a job or assume they have the right personality.  You have to learn the skills first!
  • Continuous training gives 50% higher net sales per employee

 

  • The average company spending $10K-$15K hiring an individual and only $2K a year in sales training

 

  • It takes 10 months or more for a new sales rep to be fully productive.
    • So don’t change companies every time you go through a downturn, it just hinders you from being productive.  You need to work through it and find out how to make your business work for you.
  • Retaining current customers is 6-7X less costly than acquiring new ones.
    • Maybe you’re current customers are needy and time-consuming.  Giving them up, would mean putting 6-7X more effort to finding new ones.  Stay the course!
  • The average company loses between 10% and $30% of its customers each year.
    • Losing customers is normal.  That’s why it’s important to keep building your customer base through different avenues.
  • After a presentation, 63% of attendees remember stories. Only 5% remember statistics.

Here’s the link to the original website I found.  The general gist is that you have to be persistent as hell when you’re in sales.  Your sole job is to sell people products or services that they need or might not even realize they need yet.

Happy Selling!

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My Favorite Motivational

Top Lessons I learned In Business & As A

Organize Your Mind: How To Be More Productive With Your Day

How To Make A Change in Your Life

Hand flip wooden cube with word "change" to "chance", Personal development and career growth or change yourself concept

I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. There’s a lot of change I want to bring into my life.

I know so many other people who want to make changes in their life but can’t. I know people who are afraid of change and avoid it at all costs.

But why not just embrace change? I’ve realized that change is inevitable and something we can’t always control. Sometimes I’m sitting in my room thinking about the day my parents get too old to visit me or if me and K ever get sickly and one of us have to stay home full-time. I think about our retirement and whether we’ll have enough. I think about my daughter and that in 13 years she’ll be off to college.

Some of these are good changes and some of them are bad, but the reality is that some or ALL of these changes will happen at some point.

Right now I’m not so happy with how things are going. I have enough money now but not enough TIME. I’m always clawing for more time, with my husband, my daughter, our family, and for myself. I’m working or doing chores at home. Working a 40hr week plus commuting 12-15 hours a week plus a child plus a husband is a LOT. I’m trying to move away from that and maybe use this blog as an outlet to make that happen.

I’m ready to make a CHANGE.

I could be unhappy and take it out on the people around me. Kind of play the blame game. So many people do that when they feel helpless in their situation but that’s not the type of change you really want to make in your life. See, blaming others for changes that are or aren’t happening in your life makes you lose your sense of responsibility over yourself. It puts you in the hands of someone else to fix your problems. Almost all problems can be fixed by taking ownership of your problems, making a long-term plan to fix the problem, and then following through with action.

“If you always do what you did, you’ll always get what you’ve got.”

I heard this quote somewhere and it struck a cord with me.

Sometimes you have to do something different to get the result you want.

I have a handful of friend that are still doing to same things they used to do in their early 20s but are bemoaning that they can’t find a good guy. I’m sorry, if you sleep with a guy on the 1st or 2nd date and that hasn’t really worked for you in 5 years, shouldn’t it be time to, I don’t know, change things up? Maybe you can go with a different persona than fun, carefree and sexy girl, since that’s not getting the strong, serious and responsible guy you’re looking for.

Or the friend that complains that they don’t have the career they deserve yet, and no opportunities. Meanwhile, they spent their younger years high as hell, partying and having fun.

We all reap what we sow. We shouldn’t rely on chance or luck to get us what we want in life. The life we want can only come through conscious change.

My sister S loves to live in the past. She’s all about growth and finding herself so she looks to the past to understand herself and see what could be in her future. She said her biggest issues stem from her childhood, she doesn’t feel she got the right support from our parents.

I was like, “how does that help you change your life, by knowing that?”

She replied, it helps her to make good choices now and when she acts out, she can understand where it’s coming from.

I don’t know…it didn’t seem like she could really make a change in her life with that way of thinking. Yes, she understood what was holding her back but she wasn’t able to move past it.

Looking at the past is only half the story. You also have to look to the future too to make real change in your life.

People hate thinking about the future, it gives them so many bad thoughts about failure, shortcomings, mortality. But the future is HOPE, a part of your life that has not been written. It’s a part of your life that you can still alter and make right. So to make a real change in your life you need to look at the future too.

You need to envision the future you want and then stitch together how that’s going to happen.

Example: P wants to be able to move out of her parents house, they don’t have money to assist her, and she doesn’t have enough savings yet to make the move. P does have a job, summer is around the corner and she’s about to get more hours at the restaurant she waits at. P wants to move closer to the city so she can start a new career in fashion and meet the love of her life.

Scenario 1) P spends her whole summer hanging out with friends, going to the beach and enjoying herself. She could have picked up a few more shifts but decided she’d rather just take it easy this summer and have fun. She’s been talking to her parents about helping her move but together they still don’t have enough to make it happen.

Scenario 2) P sits down and thinks it over. She thinks about what she needs to do to make what she wants to happen.  First she’ll need money.  She’ll need to go out less and maybe take on a few extra shifts at work.  She also needs to find a roommate.  Sharing housing costs will make it easier to financially afford the move..  She thinks about all her friends who would need a roommate.  So she puts up a post on FB and finds an old friend that lives in the area that she wants to live in.  There’s going to be a spare room opening up in 2 months.  The deadline is tight but this gives P a goal.  After 2 months of grinding and saving, she’s able to put 95% of what she needs away.  Her parents, seeing her work so hard to meet her goal, decide to help her make the 5% difference so she can move.

Planning ahead and putting together steps to make positive change takes discipline.  And there will always be that voice in your head that says, “What if I can’t do this?”  A small seed of doubt.  My advice is to trust your gut on what steps you’ll need in your future.  You’ll never be able to predict the outcome of your choices or the changes you’ll make, but an educated guess is better than no change or action at all.

There are people who wait in life for luck to happen to them and there are those who take a stab in the dark, make things happen, and make their own luck.  It’s through change we’re able to do that.  Which person are you?

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Check Out My Other Posts:

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Status Update: I’m Still Not Vibing At Work

Stress at your job or feeling over worked concept.

Things have settled in my job quite a bit since I last posted about it.  I’m actually about to go on vacation which I 1000% deserve considering how hard I worked in April and May covering the whole office while people were leaving this company left and right.

And yes, I was showered with praise and gratitude during that time.  I showed what I was truly made of despite being undermined by my coworker.  But people in this company forget and now that things have settled down, all that gratitude is being eroded.

They had approved some time off for me WAYYYY before the whole transition of the previous manager leaving and the new one being hired.   Then they hired the new manager who required the same vacation time.  So now here we are in August about to leave the office in the hands of our Director and another property’s manager.

I take so many issues with the company I’m at now, with how they treat their employees. Last time I checked Paid Time Off was part of the benefits program and each employee was entitled to it.

My Director has the gall to tell me:

“You know, Our Director of Operations, really wanted you to cover those days your manager (N) had off.”  “I know we approved those days but your lucky we let you keep them.  Technically your time off is voluntary, it’s not a necessary part of running the business.”

I was like WTF is she telling me right now??? Am I slave?   This is crazy!  I can’t believe she said that to me.

I respond, “Well, this time was approved before the previous manager left.  I honestly don’t consider working 7 days straight and then having 5 days off a vacation.  Our vacations are well deserved, I especially since I worked very hard this year.”

She let it go after that.

You’re probably reading this right now like why the hell am I still at the company.  They obviously don’t respect their employees and would rather abuse them.  But it’s a good paying job, great benefits and a steady paycheck.  (shrugs).  A job is a job.

It doesn’t help that my new manager, N, doesn’t know how to navigate the whole political landscape that is part of the role.  In less than 3 months he’s got our marketing director, director and some of the other departments upset with his attitude towards their requests and the changes he wants made.  Apparently making changes that would be efficient would create work for other departments, which they HATE.

You see the corporate environment doesn’t care about your individual contribution.  Every single employee, except for ownership, is replaceable.  We are to produce more and more each year.  There’s no “rah, rah, hoorah!” for meeting last years quota in a bad market.

But you know from my previous posts that I know how to be an entrepreneur so that’s the hard part for me.  I KNOW things can be better.  I KNOW I don’t have to be treated like crap.  I KNOW I could start my own business tomorrow and in 5 years be somewhere with it.   And I am going to start a business, I’m going to start taking this writing thing and motivational shit seriously.  But right now I just need this paycheck and benefits before I get the ball rolling.

I honestly feel more uneasy about my career at this company than I every felt while working for myself.  I’m constantly reminded that things can change in an instant and the office life I got used to could be taken from me by the “powers that be.”  At least when I was self-employed I could rely mainly on myself.  I am probably the most reliable person I know.

So my Director spent the whole day talking about how she hated our new manager.  Then she went on to me and how she thought the old manager ‘walked all over me.”  She had repeated this in front of all my colleagues.  Those were her literal words.  It was rude and uncalled for, and definitely inappropriate.  I could tell she was just trying to get under my skin and find out how far SHE could push me.  I wish I could go to HR, but honestly I don’t trust HR.  The HR here does the BARE MINIMUM.

You’re only bitter because you’re a sad and lonely woman.  I feel sorry for you.  Now I wish I said that but I was like, let me keep my job today.  Please.  I need to pay off the remaining $25K of my student loans.  And I didn’t want to stoop to her level.  You know, karma and stuff.  Then she went on to brag about how she fired our weekend receptionist because she couldn’t print labels.

I think the best strategy when working with cocky, difficult and challenging bosses is just to keep it moving. We are so over worked at this company, no one even has to stand up to the bosses and make a case for themselves.  The level of manipulation here is so painful and obvious but it works.  Enough people are quiet.

I personally think a lot of work environments allow this type of toxic behavior.  Anywhere you have people vying for their own economic interests you’ll have people fighting dirty.

I also got to meet the manager of one of the other departments.  I never met someone so inauthentic.  I didn’t get good vibes. She’s covering while N and I are out of the office and she didn’t seem too thrilled with the task.

Looking at her, I realized I’ll never go up in value in this company.  They don’t value their employees and the people they bring in to manage…just can’t.  I don’t want to be part of a management team that uses threats and manipulation to keep their employees in line.  And as a result, I don’t want to be part of any management team because almost all corporate environments require a cut throat demeanor.

But there are still many people who don’t need to stoop so low or cut down their teams to  feel productive and feel important.  I’ve seen them.

Thats why I vowed to return to being an entrepreneur and help teach others how to be entrepreneurs.  Because at the end of the day no one is going to give it to you,  The only person who can get it is you.  The days of working for a company and being respected and treated with dignity are over.

Please check out my other posts:

  1. My Job is Killing Me….
  2. Never Believe The Propaganda, Create Your Own Purpose
  3. My Favorite Motivational Mantra
  4. Stand Up For Yourself, Even When You Have Everything To Lose

 

 

 

 

Top Lessons I learned In Business & As A Salesperson

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The first “Job” Job I ever had

When I was 21, I started an online distribution company on Amazon.  I was working for this shady distribution company acting as their “Purchasing Manager” for like $15 dollars an hour.  They wanted me to get contacts for brands like MAC cosmetics, designer fragrances, coach bags, and other high end accounts.  My role was to buy at wholesale then ship oversees where the product was scarce and make a huge markup at the other offices.  It was super shady because we were dealing with an international Singapore office and selling goods that were unauthorized by the brands in certain locations.  Basically dealing in a gray market.  Turns out the whole beauty distribution industry is super shady in this regard.  Rather than discount certain goods to the public, companies like MAC cosmetics or Proctor & Gamble will sell to third party distributors old and unsold products, who will then sell it again to online sellers, third party shops and overseas.  So all those Ebay and Amazon stores selling cosmetics and goods are not necessarily fake, but are likely old product that’s been cycled through different distributors.

 I eventually had a contact for MAC cosmetics and decided to be bold and use it for my own use and become an Amazon pro-seller.  The money was just calling me.  I couldn’t help but think if I start selling this stuff people would buy it.  This was my first experience working for myself and being an entrepreneur.   My online store  was for cosmetics and our main item for sale was MAC Cosmetics. You wouldn’t believe how popular MAC is online, we had this wholesaler who would sell it to us. (I swear it was authentic). That was literally the only thing we would sell. I sold 80k worth of it within the first year.

Well I guess we didn’t tip the wholesaler enough because he stiffed us on the product and wouldn’t sell to us any more.

All the other product out there to buy was pretty much garbage and not giving us a high enough profit margin to make the effort.

After that I closed the business but I learned a few good lessons about owning a business:

  1. Never go into business with a friend.
    1. It sounds fun at first but it’sa recipe for disaster. I had worked with her at the distribution company and it was a lot of fun.  I felt guilty for taking the contact and profiting on my own, when my best friend was sitting right next to me.  We had very different approaches to the business though.  She wanted to cash out too early so we were never able to reinvest or grow the company. If our orders were growing, it would have been more worthwhile for the supplier and he would have been less likely to drop us like that. We were unknowingly wasting his time by making him fill our small orders twice a month.
  2. Always tip the people who help you make money
    1. It’s just good karma and it good at relationship building. You won’t believe how good “You’ll scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” strategy works.  I was so stupid to not give a nice Christmas bonus, like it’s such an obvious thing to do. When when your young and trying to start a business with absolutely no money, every dollar counts, but the dollars you spend on the people who help you be successful are the most important to spend.
  3. Never rely on one source of income or client for your business.
    1. When the MAC supply ran dry so did our business. We never bothered to diversify. We could have done videos on makeup or promoted our own products. But we never got that far.
    2. I’ve also read about other people making this mistake like YouTubers and Insta Influencers using only one platform to make their connections.  This is obviously risky since you are not in charge of the overall platform and if they decide to shut you down because of a “policy violation,” well then you’re SOL.

Lessons I learned From Being A Salesperson

When I stopped doing what the other salespeople were doing that’s when it clicked and I started to do so much more business.  There are 10,000 licensed real estate salespeople in  NYC.  There are only so many rental and sales deals for all those agents.  The reality is that not everyone will be successful in this industry and many are living hand to mouth and deal to deal.

They say 5% of salespeople make 80% of deals. To be the top sales person you need to do things other people aren’t willing to do or are too lazy to do.

In real estate that meant doing a mailing list. Many agents were too preoccupied with finding their next deal, they didn’t think ahead to do long term prospecting like email blasts and promotions.

I also prospected by cold calling leads for exclusives and following up relentlessly. All I needed was to have one door open and then I would snowball that opportunity into other opportunities.

Over time you want to create a snowball effect of success. Promoting yourself and showing off your accomplishments helps you get the confidence and business you need from new customers.  The snowball effect is probably the most important lesson I learned.  The more time you spend on a business, the more it should grow.  It should never be stagnant  unless there is a catastrophic economic collapse or recession.  The issue is that no one teaches you how to start the snowball.  In the beginning, it looks very small and almost useless to keep rolling.  Maybe a piece breaks off here and again there but over time all the cumulative effort you made over the years will be worth something, it will get stronger, and next thing you know you have a giant business! (Snowball!)

Once the snowball is huge, that’s when people notice you and give you more business with little prospecting.

Things that will help you grow your snowball:

  • Mailing lists and email blasts with all the contacts you’ve ever had
  • Cold calls
  • Holiday cards
  • Quality business cards
  • Neat  work space
  • Requesting referrals
  • Gifts at closing
  • Following up with service, doing surveys
  • Having a business plan and marketing plan
  • Being consistent with the above items

I hope you’ve found this post really useful. It was actually a discussion that I first started on Quora but it was so popular there, I decided to expand on the discussion.

Let me know your thoughts and feedback and feel free to follow, share and like.

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Work Smarter, Not Harder

Work smarter not harder

I was writing a comment on this article.  The article was about being a type A personality and it inspired me to kind of dig deeper because this guy was writing about how he has like 3 jobs and is a perfectionist and easily works 16-17 hour days. And he was kind of promoting this as a normal thing to aspire for. That he was type A personality, a perfectionist that demanded so much from himself.

I was short and sweet with my comment but was basically like, “You need balance, dude! Work smarter, not harder!”

We live in a work culture that takes advantage of these types of people and pits the work horses against everyone else for the sake of production.  We don’t need to be promoting this type of behavior. Honestly, the writer was essentially sacrificing his relationships and health in the long term for more money short term. And that to me does not seem like a good deal.  I guess he had to think it over, but he eventually commented back that he was only working this hard to build for his future for his finance and cut down his debt and that he agreed that this current workload was not sustainable.

It really did make me think about the type of people I often find in my workplace vs the type of employee I wanted to be.

There are really 3 types of workers:

Lazy workers- Typical worker, makes up a majority of today’s work force. Doesn’t care to improve or grow professionally.  Happy with their slice of pie, only thinking about their salary increases and benefits. Looks at investments and business opportunities as too risky.

Hard workers- Time is money and these people tend to follow paper like it’s the gospel to life. They sacrifice all their personal relationships, free time, hobbies to work. These work horses generally are high earners in their company but leverage their salary for more responsibility and more hours. They are also adverse to risk and are only going to consider investments and business endeavors if it will reap quick money.

Smart workers- leverage their experience and time for more money. Unlike hard workers, who sacrifice time for money in positions that they are easily replaced in, smart workers focus on long term career growth ands specialize in niche areas that will be of great use and high demand. Or they recognize their unique experience to be valuable and come up with a business idea that blows up.

I think the difference between the three workers is really just attitude. The lazy worker is the worst, they are not really able to see beyond themselves and their long term contributions to their work. They don’t have the ambition or drive to give extra and see what it reaps. They often hold the belief that they are hard working enough and that they should get better pay for just being there. They often exhibit bad habits like lateness, lack of detail, lack of effort, a disinterest in the work.

My previous receptionist was this type of worker, I had mentioned her in a previous post. Her issue was that she knew the work but would “pretend” to forget or not know in order to lighten her workload. Over time this worked she had the easiest role in the office, leaving at 6 when me and our manager would often leave at 7. But when my asst. director came in to restructure the office, it became obvious she was the weak link to our production, so she was the first to be cut and the easiest to replace.

My old manager was a hard worker she would make sure all deadlines and reports were complete, it would be so detailed. Everything had to be perfect. Any reports that she did would take hours to compile. Her work was correct but at the end of the day none of the directors had the time to actually review it in depth so it went unnoticed.   She was also a shrew that made sure she had a majority of all the deals so between the deals she had to close and the detailed reports she had to do, she was working 60 hours a week. Yes, she was making more money. But she was also working more hours and putting more effort to make more money. She wasn’t any happier either. For all that money she was making, she wasn’t enjoying it and she eventually pushed herself out of a good job with her self-created discontent.

I think the happiest kind of employment, the one I aspire for, is to be a smarter worker. I think it takes a lot of self awareness to pick which traits are marketable and in demand.  I also think courage to take take that skill and make it a business, especially if no one else has done that before.  And I think it takes a lot of confidence to put a price on those skills and stick to it.

When I was an rental agent , there were other agents charging less than a months rent in commission.  They were undercutting a lot of agents.  Considering you had to pay the brokerage a piece of your deals, taxes, and other business expenses, that basically meant that those brokers had to work on a high volume basis.  They were spinning their wheels, showing apartment after apartment in the summer heat.  They had to be dishonest to keep the leads and clients flowing.

I didn’t have the heart for all that.  I focused on quality and getting the highest commission possible, almost 2 months worth of rent.  I focused on creating value and marketing my skills for getting the best deals for clients so that my commission would pay itself off after the first year.   Well, I wouldn’t say I was the highest earning salesperson but I definitely made just as much as the high volume agents with literally HALF the work.  That was working SMART.  I had people who were so happy with my service, they were referring other clients who would pay FULL commission.  They were referring other clients who would buy properties with me!

I ended up leaving that work environment due to personal reasons, but I never forgot the lesson of what it meant to work smarter.

Now I’m working  a salaried position and I’m constantly trying to find ways to make my time more valuable, be an efficient worker and to do more with less and be more productive.  I’m hoping my company would value that and reward me at bonus season.  I’m also trying to find ways to leverage my other talents and skills, to hopefully something profitable.

There’s no one rule for working smarter but if I had to name one thing that will definitely help you, the #1 way to improve efficiency at work:  STOP DOING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING.  Most people are not smart or even hard workers.  Following the status quo is the recipe for mediocrity.

Share the ways you were able to find better use of your talent and time below, I’d love to hear it.

Feel free to read my other posts:

Playing The Game Of Life And Winning: 5 Approaches To Success

Organize Your Mind: How To Be More Productive With Your Day

My Job is Killing Me….

Status Update: Don’t Over Do It!

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How Did That B*tch Get Rich?

Wealthy woman in elegant clothes standing against car.

The big question on my mind.  On everybody’s mind, really.

As I start to make my transition to my 30s, the money question seems to be everywhere.  We’re all so proud of the 401ks we started and the money moves we’ve made.  It’s all so nice to flash cash on Instagram and Snapchat.  Just like how (in our early 20s)  we used to show off how many times we went out in a week or all the people we knew, now the trend is to show off how we’ve got it like that.

I was meeting a girlfriend for lunch last Saturday and as we strolled around Chelsea we chatted about all the good things we were doing for ourselves.  Allie was a teacher and after years of partying and living with her parents was tired of being broke.  So she was taking things into her own hands and making moves of her own.  She got a new job that gave her benefits, she had a tutoring job on the side, and planned to work the after school program.  She was ready to make $$$ and I was really happy for her.

I said, “You’ve got to get if for yourself, no one’s going to give it to you.”

She was like, “Absolutely, but sometimes I look at some people and I’m like, how did that Bitch get rich?”  “Like really, of all people.”

I didn’t really know what people or bitches she was talking about but it was a question that I had been determined to answer since before we were really even friends.

I remember being in High School and watching MTVs “My Super Sweet Sixteen” and it was this stupid reality show about rich teenage girls planning their over the top sweet sixteen.  It would literally be 50K and up type parties.  Mini weddings.  At the end they would get a new Mercedes or Ferrari or whatever they wanted and I was like WTH how do people live like this?

My super sweet 16

I became obsessed with understanding how rich people come to be and thats kind of how I got into NYC real estate.  I wanted to understand how do people get rich.  Maybe if I got close to it, I would be able to understand it and create wealth in my own life.

Well, being a NYC rental broker, you get to see the intimate details of someone’s wealth.  You see their tax returns, their employment letters, the professions they chose, the co-signers that they use to get an apartment, the assets in their bank accounts and more!  It blew my mind at first, how much wealth was needed to live in NYC.  It’s literally wealth I still don’t have but understanding it and seeing how wealth exists in our world helped me accept the fact that I’m not wealthy, at least not in the sense that “My Super Sweet Sixteen” portrayed.  Here are the top ways that I noticed people were able to live a wealthy lifestyle.

Generational Wealth

This is the most common way that wealth is accumulated for most people.  I call it, “Getting A Leg Up.”  People who come from generational wealth are already starting at 10.

To be generationally wealthy is a true privilege.  People with generational wealth not only have the resources and assets to seize more opportunities, they are already raised to use money in a way that works for them and are less likely to fall into debt and other problems that would detract from be wealthy.

Example: Jerry is a 3rd generation American.  His grandfather came to the USA and hustled 3 jobs to buy a house and raise his family of 3 children.  One of the 3 children starts a business and it becomes successful.  Meanwhile the house that their grandfather bought is now worth 3X as much due to inflation caused by the booming tech industry.  The grandfather allows one of the other children to take a loan against the home and flip 3 other houses.  Another child is successful.  The last child was able to go to college and build a career to manage to become a middle manager and make a good living.  All three of this grandfathers children were able to make it to middle or upper class. These children have 2 of their own children.  Jerry is one of those grandchildren.  The original siblings help each other out in raising their children by babysitting and offering advice on best school district.  They share resources with each other like baby clothes and books.  Grandfather dies and leaves his fully paid off house, pension, and other assets to all the 6 grandchildren in a trust.  Each child gets $150K each in a trust to use when they turn 25.  Each child has the means to go to college, two of them specialize in a profession like medicine or law, two others start a new business with their trust, and the remaining 2 go into the family business.  Jerry is 30 years old, has an Ivy League degree, $150K in a trust and is a partner at his family’s company.  That is what generational wealth looks like. 

Beauty

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  And while that’s true, there is a variety of beauty in this world.   But we must admit that conventional beauty has so much power in our society. To be beautiful is to have doors literally opened for us.  Now this section isn’t just about women being beautiful.  Men can be beautiful too.  Just yesterday my 20 year old intern with stunning blue eyes and a linebacker’s build was telling me how the girls at Chipotle gave him free Chipotle.  And that won’t be the last freebie or leg up he gets for being extraordinarily handsome. I swear he looks like this actor:

Regardless, doors will open for him because beauty is attractive.  And people are drawn to what is attractive.  But this won’t necessary result in wealth.  Unlike generational wealth, people won’t hand you money just for being beautiful.  Often, beautiful people have to leverage their youth and beauty for opportunities for wealth.  I once had these model clients.  They were REAL models.  The types that walk runways for Gucci and Balmain.  They made well over six figures just in the US for their beauty.  One girl showed 200K from her contract with IMG Modeling. These girls also worked for other modeling agencies in Europe.  But wealth is real for these beauties. Once their modeling days are behind them, they could easily marry well to do men in finance who want a wife with good genes and beautiful skin to match. I don’t think many women have that kind of opportunity just handed to them.

The good thing is that the genetic lottery isn’t the only way to cash in on beauty.  With youth comes natural beauty.  Men and women are realizing this and capitalizing on their youth, building online businesses and brands for their youtube channels and Instagram accounts. From ages 16-35 women are at the peak of their beauty/youth.  For men that time frame is 20-40.  Just imagine how big of a business you can build in 20 years.  You can build an empire.  I could go on and on about how pretty privilege is a thing but I think I’ll save that for another post.  The good thing is that beauty and youth can truly be the stepping stone to success for those willing to step out of their shell and grab it.

Hustle

Some people are more hustlers.  I think I fall into that category over beauty.  I’m sure my youth has helped me a lot in gaining opportunities and getting my foot in the door.  But I’m not THAT pretty.  More like a girl next door type of look to me.   So I’ve had to rely more on my hustle and charm.  Hustle and charm are not easy skills to attain.  You need a mix of street-smart, hunger, people skills, charisma and intelligence to really win in this category of wealthy.  A talent or two won’t hurt either.

To be be clear, the definition of [hustle] according to Urban Dictionary is: To have the courage, confidence, self belief, and self-determination to go out there and work it out until you find the opportunities you want in life.

There are a million ways to make money hustling.  I truly believe there’s enough pie for everyone.  Hell, you can all bake your own pies. We live in a world that is rapidly changing with growths in technology and change in culture and opportunity.  Youtube star are making millions, Instagram Influencers are getting paychecks.  You can literally open a new store on Etsy and sell those handmade bracelets you always get compliments for or those handmade soaps.  You can become a motivational speaker.  Or you can be like me and do real estate and work your way up. Or start in any industry and work your way up.

This, to me, is the backbone for all wealth. There had to be someone to get the moneyball rolling whether it’s you or your grandfather. There really isn’t much substitute for grit, perseverance and grind when it comes to breaking socioeconomic barriers.

Smarts

Being book smart is important and if all else fails, you can’t go wrong with book-smart. It’s the type of hustle your parents always pushed for. “Education is everything,” my father said, “No one will ever be able to take your education away from you.”

And that’s true, I just wasn’t prepared to face the level of intellectual competition that I would face in that one year of law school.

My sister was, though. She finished her studies to become a doctor. After watching her go through 4 years of premed, 4 years of med school, 2 years of residency, another two years of fellowship and enough testing and studying to make your eyes bleed, I’m not sure I would say that I envy her life now. She truly earned it and now makes 250K a year working 32 hours a week. 32 hours a week!

Being smart is not just reading books and stating facts. It’s competing with all the other smart and intelligent people to be the best. I never felt more insecure of my own intelligence that I did during that one year of law school.

Think about beauty pageants that line women up according to their beauty and grace. Intellectual pursuits is kinda like that except with your brain and how smart you are.

No thanks, wasn’t for me.

Summary

I think the bulk of what I’m trying to get at is that obtaining wealth for a majority of people is not easy. But it’s not unattainable. And as long as it’s possible for you to get to the next level, you should be striving to make that happen. I’ve been broke and now I’m comfortable; I wouldn’t say wealthy but I anticipate maybe 10 years from that. Being broke sucks, staying broke is tougher. A lot of people don’t realize they can get up and change their situation. I’m here to tell you, YOU CAN.

I like to call it “bootstrapping it.” And IMO gaining wealth from your own hard work and grit is more satisfying than having it handed to you. Most of us reading this are not from generational wealth, it’s up to us to make our own wealth. It’s going to be a lot of trial and error, a lot of failure, but all you need is that one moment. All you need is one big win and all that failure will be erased.

I wish you all the best of luck on your journey for progress and wealth. Please share like and follow if you liked this post. I follow back!

Hello World :) July Statistics!

blog woodenSo I’ve been at this for about three months now!  And it’s been great.  I’ve been changing a lot of things up this week trying to make the adulting 101 better.

The #1 change I’ve made is to add better visuals to the posts in terms of the stock photos I’m using.  I’m not one to take content from other people and take pictures to go with my writing without either paying or giving credit, so I ended up using a lot of the free stock photos that are available on Pixabay free stock photo website.   It’s good and all, but I felt like there just wasn’t enough diversity in the pictures I was using, especially for the ones that relate to work.  I felt like my posts were all starting to look the same and I wanted to change it up.  So I decided to invest in adobe stock-photos for $29.99 to get 10 photos a month.  They’re good quality photos and I think it’ll be a while before I run out of interesting featured photos to compliment my posts.

I’m still committing to writing only two times a week but at least 1000 words a post.  I think that commitment has made my posts better and surprisingly I’m going over that writing minimum easily for most of my articles.

This month was surprisingly slow in the beginning but I think it had a lot to do with the 4th of July holiday here in the US.  Nevertheless, I ended up switching some of my advertising and it was effective in increasing my traffic towards the end of the month.  It makes me happy to know that you guys are reading my posts and are finding me easily.

This month I’ve increased to 36 new WordPress followers, 18 Medium followers, 6 email subscribers, 4 likes on my Facebook Page, and 16 Quora Followers.  That’s pretty nice for month 3 of promoting and blogging.

July

So where am I this month?  Well, I have more views than EVER!   I’ve already broken 550 unique views!  I’ll easily get to 580 unique views before the end of the month!  I also had my highest views ever this month.  On July 11th I broke 42 page views!

My top 5 articles this month are:

  1. How Do People Afford To Live In NYC?
  2. Developing Personal Style: The Manly Edition
  3. Why I Took The Risk And Quit Law School
  4. My Best Friend Ghosted Me
  5. I Survived A Toxic Manager

Compared to last month, my top 3 articles of 2018 are:

  1. Overcome Your Anxiety. 5 Ways I Worked To Overcome Mine
  2. On Gratitude…
  3. Hello World 🙂 June ’18 Statistics

This month I’ve only had a total of 18 likes and 5 new WordPress Followers and overall my search engine traffic has been lower, so the organic traffic has been slower BUT my promotion, advertising, and return readers are making up the difference.  I’m still beating June’s visitor numbers.

July 1

My readership this month was mainly from US, then India, Philippines, Australia, and the United Kingdom.  I’m glad my posts have been able to reach a global audience, it’s truly astounding how easily people of different countries can relate to posts.

This month I did struggle with some writers block. For about a week and a half, I struggled to get words on paper.  This usually happens when I’m distracted with other things, I was posting a lot on my personal Instagram and was preoccupied with that.  I got my head in the game though, I usually keep topics that I want to write on a list.  That way, if I run out of things to say or write, I kind of have a starting point.

I want to send a specific shoutout to my new 4 email followers. With the popup subscription signups, I don’t share any information.  It’s just a great way to stay connected and up to date with my posts.

Feel free to check out my progress with my last two statistics posts:

Hello World 🙂 June ’18 Statistics

Hello World 🙂 May Statistics

Thanks so much for the support!  Feel free to follow, like and share! 🙂

 

Why I Took The Risk And Quit Law School

Happy successful business people in office having fun throwing documents

I think a lot of what has held me back in life has been my own insecurity over what other people think. There’s kind of a safety in following the herd and doing what’s expected. I was always one of those people who found safety in numbers. Sure, standing out meant you might be liked more but it could also be an opportunity for people to put you down. So that’s what I did for many years, I was a self chosen wallflower. I wasn’t much different from anyone else, nor did I want to be.

For people who suffer from self esteem issues, there’s a lack of self acceptance that causes you to doubt yourself. A little voice in your head that says, “I don’t know about this, people might think this is stupid.” What I’ve learned over time is that that voice is irrelevant. I really pushed myself against what other people think. In my heart, I knew what was right for me and though my actions seemed risky to others, I followed my passions.

I feel like the story about how I quit law school is pretty relevant to this message. You see, like many young college students I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had no idea what my talents were or where my interests lay. I knew I was smart and was able to get good grades with some studying. Grad school seemed like a good option. And I like money and respect so going to law school seemed perfect. I could figure out what kind of law later. I had a vision that once I became a lawyer, I would be important and rich and everyone in life would like and respect me. So I took the LSAT, applied to different schools and finally was accepted to a decent law school in NYC with a partial scholarship. Everything seemed perfect.

A few days before I started law school I had a gut instinct that I didn’t want to go.  That was the first sign to quite law school.  I didn’t know where this feeling came from, I knew I shouldn’t be pursuing this degree. It was like a feeling of dread, like something terrible was about to happen. Logically, I didn’t have a good enough reason not to go, I didn’t listen to that instinct.  I went and spent 30K on that 1 year of law school.

And I bombed.

I sucked at the test taking. No matter how hard I tried I just wasn’t absorbing the information. I sucked at legal writing, I sucked at contract and real estate law. And I wasn’t happy. By the end of the first semester I started to question whether law school was the right direction for my talents.  My parents said, “No, you’ve got to see it through. Don’t be a quitter.” I didn’t want to be seen as a quitter by anyone. Even though that terrible gut feeling of doom was back, I continued my education for more torture.

That second semester, I was not sleeping or taking care of myself and literally abusing my body with adderral. I needed to get better grades, at whatever expense. I was getting addicted to adderall and by the end of that semester I was just over it. I didn’t bother checking my grades, I knew I was at the bottom of my class. June came and people had internships and I was like WTH, no one is going to hire me with these grades and I don’t think I can get through two more years of law school and a bar exam to become a lawyer.

So I quit.

The Assistant Dean actually called me when he saw I didn’t enroll again. I just let it go to voicemail. I couldn’t go back. My parents told me, “This is a decision you’ll regret for the rest of your life.” I wasn’t hearing it, I wasn’t going back.

That year, people would ask me how law school was going and it was so embarrassing to tell people I had quit. I tried to say it in a way that didn’t sound like quitting, “Oh I decided I didn’t want to be an attorney. Law school wasn’t for me.”  And it wasn’t. But being seen as someone who walked away from an opportunity really hung over my head.  I had quit law school and the question on my mind was “now what?”

After that I did an oddball office job until I got the special idea that I should be a real estate salesperson in NYC. I think I got the idea from Million Dollar Listing NY. LOL. I just loved the flashiness of it and the hustle. It seemed so legit. So I got my license and then signed up with a rental brokerage. It was the easiest thing ever.

I sucked at that too but I had the passion and drive to keep at it. I could tell you a billion stories about all the shitty client’s I had and all the fun deals I did but I’ll save that for another story.  I eventually climbed up the ranks to a great six figure sales opportunity. When I think about my current opportunity, I think DAMNN, you lucked out girl. This was a true hustle.

Other things happened in my life that I felt was totally not the norm, like getting pregnant at 23 and having a gunshot wedding to my college boyfriend who dropped out of undergrad.  Without a plan in sight, I’m sure it looked like our lives were about to crash land into loser land.  But K and I hustled like a dream team and made it work. Now people are looking at us like the power couple that got it all done before 30.

And if you told 20 year old version of me that I would be killing it at 29, I would have called you a liar. But we really did it and worked hard for the life we have now.

I think the moral of this story is more like:

Don’t be afraid to do you. Follow your gut and take risks. You’re not going to win at every single risk you take but at least you’ll have the experience and learn from it.

People who don’t take risks have nothing to lose but also nothing to gain. That’s the truth. The people in my life who played it safe are now wondering, “why isn’t life happening for them?” I just want to shake them and say, “because you did nothing to make it happen.”

I want to inspire everyone who’s reading this to think about the one thing you always wanted to pursue and then make a plan to create that reality in your life. Life and success doesn’t happen to lucky people but rather people who go out and make things happen. So the one thing I would recommend everyone focus on is to care LESS about what other people think about them. Of course there’ll be people who don’t like you or try to put you down. Those people are the minority and if you’re making people upset, that just means you’re doing something right.

I hope my story was one that inspired you! Please like, share and follow!

Check out my other posts too!

The Power Of Positivity

Playing The Game Of Life And Winning: 5 Approaches To Success

What Does It Take To Be Charismatic and Likeable?

Organize Your Mind: How To Be More Productive With Your Day

AdobeStock_91387706.jpeg

I find myself scrambling most days.  In the mornings I’m scrambling to get my daughter ready for school, get myself ready for work, eat breakfast, get out the house and catch my bus, then commute to my job in the city.  Once I get to work, I’m almost immediately bombarded with tasks to be done, work-fires needing to be put out and clients to meet.  My day goes on like this until I can finally escape work and make the commute back home.  Once I’m home, I’m scarfing down a quick microwave dinner, showering, then relaxing for an hour before it’s time to go to bed and prepare to do it again the next day.

Weekends are just as busy with errands like groceries and Target runs, family obligations, and chores.  A two day weekend seems too short suddenly and the work week begins again.

Now that I’m a working mom with a full time job, full time child and full time husband, I’ve come to find life almost unmanageable.   I always envisioned my life to be very organized, put together and successful.   Most days it feels far from that, but I try, and I actually manage to get a lot done with the help of my husband.  I think over time, I’ve realized the importance of time management.

So how can you be more productive?  Here are my go-to’s and best time saving tips for making a busy week more productive:

To Do List:

  • This is my go to.  Everything I need to do goes on a list.  I personally do not have enough attention span to remember all the tasks I need.  I’ll go into a room with the intention to do something and completely forget what the task was.
  • For me lists are a way of organizing my life.  It’s not just enough to create one but it’s also important to follow through and get the tasks done.  The absolute KEY to productivity is to tackle your tasks from hardest to easiest.  Often I never finish a list but if I’m able to tackle the first most important tasks, then that makes the effort worthwhile.  I tend to procrasinate with the smaller easier and more enjoyable tasks to do.  It gives me an excuse, once I’ve completed “enough” tasks, to skip out on the most difficult ones.  If I tackle harder list items, I become more energized and have the motivation and energy to complete the easier ones.

Outsource

  • There are some things I can’t bring myself to do.  Adding them to my list, stalls me.  I never get to it and it keeps me from feeling accomplished for the day.  For those kind of tasks or items, I’ve found it easier to outsource them.
  • I absolutely hate washing dishes and ironing clothes. I’m also not a great cook.  It takes me twice as long to cook because I’m usually procrastinating trying to make it more interesting.
  • For washing dishes, I was 27 before I lived in an apartment that had a dishwasher.  I would let them pile in the sink until they were insurmountable and took over 30 minutes tot take care of.  Now that I FINALLY have a dishwasher, I’m fine to outsource them to the machine, while my husband still finds hand washing dishes faster and more efficient.
  • For ironing clothes, I just outsource to my local dry cleaner. Dry cleaning and pressing my best quality clothes tends to make them last longer and better. It takes me an hour to iron 7 collared shirts. I’m a perfectionist and like them neat, so I take my time. With the dry cleaner, I can just drop off and pick up, it cost a bit of money but it saves a lot of time.
  • For cooking, my husband is a better cook so he gets credit for all our amazing meals.

Down time

  • At the end of the day, we are not robots and can only be so productive. Don’t over do it! Relax, go on vacation and don’t let yourself burn out.
  • Burnout will kill your motivation. Burnout will keep you from achieving long term goals. So don’t feel bad when you need to take a break. Taking a break isn’t quitting. Taking a break is when you take a moment to gain the energy you need for the long haul ahead of you.
  • Never stop hustling but don’t let the hustle beat you out of the game.

Focus

  • Having absolute focus is a must.  I’m the queen of procrastination.  Even as I write this post, I’ve been procrastinating.  But you’ve got to reign it in.  You’ve got to cut out the distractions in life and keep your eye on the price.
  • The biggest distraction?  Social Media.  OMG whenever I post on Facebook or Instagram, I’m constantly checking how many likes and comments I get.  Because what’s the point of posting, if no one’s looking?  Then I get sidetracked by other posts that people are sharing and going down that rabbit hole.  But at some point, you have to realize what a TIME WASTER it is to be sidetracked randomly by things that are unnecessary.   RECOGNIZE your biggest time wasters, then make a plan to cut them down.  Yes, social media is fun and is even good for business, but I worked on cutting it out and blocking those apps until I absolutely needed it.
  • Learning to say NO to lesser important tasks also helped with my focus.  I don’t need to spontaneously take on every responsibility that is presented to me.  A random problem not caused my me at work, but requires my attention?  Nope, it’s going to the back of the priority list.  I need to stick to my priorities and keep from putting out other people’s fires.  This might sound like I’m not a team player at work but in reality, this will help keep you from being constantly relied on to fix other peoples mistakes.  It’s called, HOLDING OTHER PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE.  Of course this only applies to people at work, sometimes you need to create boundaries.  For family and friends, I’m running to help put out their fires.

Schedule

  • I’m terrible at scheduling,  It’s really not my thing.  But it is a MUST.  Keeping dates and a calendar can help you manage your time better and not miss important dates. It gives you the ability to plan ahead and avoid conflicts.
  • How many times have I missed a important day or ended up scrambling last minute to complete a deadline?  That’s not efficient nor is it responsible.
  • I used to think I could keep it all in my head but that is a LIE.  The most efficient people know they can forget or miss a detail so they make it a habit to follow a calendar to the letter.  “Let me check my calendar,” said every single person that respects their time and yours.
  • The worst thing, I think, are people who over schedule and over book.  Because, guess what, the person at the other end of the overbooking won’t forget how unreliable you were or that you were sloppy in following through.  They’ll know that you don’t use your time efficiently and that memory of you will be hard to erase.

All these things have helped me so much professionally and personally save a lot of time and be more productive.  I’ve grown a lot over the years and these tips have helped me leverage my time with my money.  I’m able to manage being a mom, wife, and being career minded.   In 5 years I was able to have a child, get married and grow 3X my salary.  Productivity matters and will get you noticed.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, if you liked it please support by following, liking and sharing.

Check out my other posts:

Build An Eye Catching Resume And Get More Interviews

Top 6 Ways To Maintain A Work Life Balance When Your Job Is Stressing You Out

Thinking About Working For Yourself? Consider These Strengths & Pitfalls!

I Survived A Toxic Manager

My manager was a b*tch. She was a bonifide b*tch. And if this goes viral and she reads this, I hope she knows I’m talking about her. (Thanks EK for being the worst manager I have ever encountered).

We all have that one manager that we hate. The one that uses their position of power to serve themselves and abuse others. The one that uses emotional manipulation to guilt you into staying extra hours, often unpaid. The one that tries to screw you over financially and points fingers when things don’t go well. The one that manager that makes you question your commitment to your job and makes you want to quit with anxiety. I don’t know who put these people in their roles but, holy crap, the hiring process needs to get better.

I had just gotten into a position that I was really excited about when I met EK, she seemed friendly enough. She showed me how to do everything; put the bare minimum in training me but I was okay with that. After all, I didn’t want to be a burden, she was obviously very busy. I told myself that I could learn from my mistakes and I could learn quickly with very little instruction.

There were multiple red flags and looking back I realized what a dupe I was to believe her evil manipulations. In reality, I was between a rock and a hard place. A lot of stuff she did didn’t really make sense or feel fair but she was the only person who could show me the ropes. Even though she was only a year older than me, she had much more experience in the company and was well connected. Her brother and dad worked in other departments. EK always used her experience as a point of reference, “Trust me, I’ve been with this company for 10 years.” I mean, who can really argue with that logic?

The dark side started to show when she would hold these “meetings” five minute before the end of the workday. Looking back I really should have made a complaint at this point because these stupid were keeping me over 30-40 minutes and she wasn’t paying me overtime. I just felt sooo isolated. The director who hired me wasn’t really investing into my training or checking in to see how I was doing. (Tells you a lot about this company, huh?). If I spoke out, who would listen?

I took on a lot of work beyond my scope because not doing so just made my job harder. Our receptionist isn’t trained? Well then, I’m fielding all the calls. Her paperwork isn’t closed out? Well then, her clients are going to be screaming at me on her days off when things don’t go their way. EK just liked to point fingers and not take responsibility. Apologies were not in her vocabulary. And with Upper Management not digging into their sites or taking a closer look, who was going to be the wiser?

She was the coldest woman I ever met. When she would get stressed she’d throws me under the bus and make sure I knew exactly how I was failing in my position. I could literally feel her satisfaction as I stuttered an apology and looked down at my desk feeling helpless and losing confidence in myself. Over time my work self-esteem just started slipping away. There were times she wouldn’t even bother to hide her nasty personality, her sneers at how incompetent I was still ring in my ears.

Why would I put up with that, why would I let someone disrespect me like that? Don’t I have any self-respect? How many times did I really think about storming out and throwing the towel in? So many times, but I worked too hard, got too far to let ONE person push me out. The truth is that my job wasn’t that bad. I’m paid well and reasonably. I’m doing something that I enjoy and am good at. The benefits and time off were good too. This was a GOOD JOB. And to quit now would be going back to the drawing board, career-wise. So I stayed and took it. I made sure to document the issues I had with her and keep her on edge. Over time, she was still a bitch, but a more cautious bitch. And eventually she became more and more jaded with her own position, found another opportunity and left.

It was such a breath of fresh air to be away from the negativity EK brought to the office.

It wasn’t until she finally left that I realized how toxic she was. I had always struggled to get deals through but apparently she had the system rigged. Which was surprising because for the past year and a half I was led to believe I just wasn’t trying hard enough. You know when someone points out some obscure yet plausible reason why something is happening, but in reality the two are unrelated? That’s exactly how she explained things to me. My manager had played the system so that she would get the bulk of the commissions. All her arbitrary rules, on what could be accepted plus her rules on which clients were hers, favored her heavily. She knew this full and well but still took the digs at me for being low performing compared to her. She went as far as to complain about me to upper management, saying, “I can’t focus on my own role because Alex is too underperforming. I need to make all the deals.” She suggested adding another agent, so that I would compete with them and then they could drop the lowest performing team member.

You would think women would lift other women up in the workplace, seeing how we’re underrepresented and all. So it really surprised me to realize that EK didn’t care to mentor me or help me grow. She was numero uno and that was all that mattered.

For those dealing with a toxic manager or coworker here are a few thoughts of advice:

1. Pick your battles but speak up! If something doesn’t seem right, say so. Plain and clear. Let the other person be defensive and show how they are not screwing you over.

2. Break down your interactions and minimize them. I only had to work with EK 3 times a week and sometimes it would be 2 or 1 times due to holidays and PTO. In the larger scheme of things we only worked together 135 days out of the year. Our overall interaction in a day might add up to an hour. Dealing with her was manageable when I thought of it that way.

3. Document Everything: most jobs will want to “build a case” against you if they want to fire you. Documenting everything can save your ass especially in a company that likes to point fingers. You can build a case too on how you were a good and reliable employee and how your employee committed wrongful termination.

4. Think about the bigger picture. Your manager is one person in a small part of your life. She or you may leave for a better opportunity. It’s hard to think about it that way when week after week, someone is using their position of authority to get ahead of you. But life has taught me that challenges are temporary.

5. Things are always changing: My bitch manager left! If she didn’t leave, I probably would have found my way out. The corporate environment is a living breathing organism, constantly changing.

My manager was horrible and I can only wish most of my readers don’t have to work in that kind of environment.  But at the end of the day we can’t always choose who we work with.  Stay strong and stay motivated!

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My Job is Killing Me…. and Status Update: Don’t Over Do It!