Thoughts On Holiday Parties


So it’s the morning after the holiday party and trying to comb through my foggy memories to make sure I didn’t do anything excruciatingly embarrassing. I had like 5 drinks, 1 per hour.

I think I did OK. I came with the goal to be somewhat charismatic/memorable which I think I accomplished but there were definitely areas for improvement.

It was a suit/tie event for men and dress pants/cocktail dress for women. I wore a nice velvet dress that fell right above the knee. I also brought a long sleeve cover up for my shoulders in case I felt cold or just wanted to look more conservative. Makeup was the only thing I went overboard with. But it was hopefully tasteful with bright red lip gloss for the holidays.

I worked the floor saying hi to everyone that I knew and trying to strengthen the relationships of the people I worked with or knew best. I work for a pretty big company and literally everyone works in different locations from each other.

I’d say I did really well at the holiday party in terms of being charismatic and having social grace. Though I wish I would have left a little earlier from the after-party. I left at like 11pm! Which I know sounds kind of early for a night out but my company is kind of conservative but we’re all still human! It was really important for me to make sure I wasn’t leaving the wrong impression.

As the night progressed and the alcohol kept pouring, people were getting more and more loose and more and more flirty. Coworkers were telling me things about themselves that were super deep and probably not what they were trying to have a conversation about had they been sober. To be more specific, things like their ability to conceive and their surgeries to other conversation like their discontent in their marriage. At times I think I come off as a little too interested in the conversation, making too much eye contact. I enjoy in depth conversation, it makes me feel connected to people but I don’t want to come off as inappropriate. I’ve realized that people can can feel very uncomfortable and unwoven if they reveal too much of themselves to someone they don’t feel close enough to yet.

In comparison to some others, I think I pulled through OK. There have been holiday parties where people are getting too hammered and getting sick at their work function to the point of hospitalization! I’ve also seen coworkers leave with other coworkers, etc. Girls screaming at each other in cabs and being a hot mess.


Thankfully, not me last night.

Next time maybe just leave a tad bit earlier like 10pm or 9:30 before the crazy debauchery begins and I become associated as a witness.

I’m particularly interested in anyone’s thoughts on the friendly balance for conversation and how to maintain it. And also are holiday parties supposed to turn into hot messes or is there a proper etiquette?

One Of The Biggest Financial Decisions You’ll Ever Make


From about age 16 we hear this question over and over. “What do you want to do with your life?” “What degree are you getting?”

It’s difficult, what you choose at 18 or 20 decides a lot about your lifestyle. Maybe you’ll aim to be a traveling DJ with partying lifestyle. It’s flashy and fun but involves all your weekends and most evenings. You’re your own boss but have to hustle hard in the beginning to bring in clients. Or maybe you decide you want to be an attorney, you’ll need 3 years of law school and a lot of debt. You graduate in the middle of your class and struggle to get a job that will cover your living expenses and your debt. Or maybe you decide to go into banking, it was great at first but now is going automated or overseas.

You get the picture, your career needs to last 30-40 years! That’s a huge commitment! You need to think longevity. Can your industry last 40+ years? Is your career mostly age/appearance related? What is the growth opportunity? Are you going to enjoy your work enough to do this for decades? These plus many more questions have to be carefully thought out for your future!

The timeline goes something like this:

20s: finish college, flail around trying to figure out what works then find a niche. Start at the bottom.
30s:grind out security in your field/job. Maybe do other adult things like marriage/family.
40s: Some progression/growth opportunity may have occurred at this point, but still trucking along.
50s: start really preparing for retirement and sending kids off to college.

The point is that for most of us, delaying choosing a career or even frequently changing careers past your 20s is detrimental for financial/personal stability.

You can’t spend your 20s and 30s working in odd n end jobs and expect the same return as someone who settled in a career at 25.

This post is not to offend those living alternative lifestyles that appreciate freedom over security. I just want to encourage everyone to be very conscious in their choices. It’s easy to start off in a job with you thought will be temporary but end up with 6 years in the hole with little advancement. It’s easy to keep changing directions and then end up really nowhere but at scratch again.

What you choose as your career matters. You can switch your major a few times or change a few jobs but eventually….you choose a career or your career chooses you.

I went to my 10 year high school reunion and it just a bunch of adults standing around saying where did the time go? As a follow up, I’m going to go over goal setting and achieving in another post. Hopefully more of us will be able to tackle our goals and be able to be proud of how our time was spent

My Favorite Motivational Mantra

My Favorite Motivational Mantra


This is a classic but when I first read this, I thought it was useless. Talent is everything. We should aim to be the most talented, the best. I was 22 when I first came across this poster.

Talent is nothing other than these 10 tools.

1)Being on Time: its really rare to meet someone who is always on time. Being consistently on time requires planning ahead and leaving early consistently. Nowadays people don’t see the value in timeliness but not leaving others to wait on you shows that you’re RELIABLE.


2. Work Ethic & 3. Effort: Is really about doing your best. Work is demanding and hard. But if you put your best towards everyday, you WILL get noticed. I’ve caught colleagues just slacking off when the boss wasn’t looking, allowing others to pick up this slack. I lost respect immediately. And eventual the boss will notice too.


4. Body Language: It took me while to get the hang of this one. How you carry yourself is very important. Make eye contact, initiate a handshake, stand with confidence, smile. About 60% of all communication is with body language. Make sure you’re saying something positive. My receptionist literally greets everyone like they are ruining her day. We had to train her to say “hello, how are you?” and offer them refreshment to offset her rough demeanor.
5. Energy: I have a physically demanding sales job. I need to have the same energy with the last client like I would with the first. I need to fill the room with positive energy and make it translate to what I’m selling. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and realized that they just weren’t feeling it? That’s bad energy, we don’t want that. Good energy starts with how you feel about yourself.
6. Attitude: ever heard the phrase “it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it” That’s attitude. You say something in a million different ways. Positive energy and attitude is addictive and attractive. Negative attitude and energy is NOT. Complaining you have too much work or that your coworker is annoying doesn’t do anything to change the situation. Do that enough times and you’ll be dubbed the negative nelly at work. And guess what? Negative nellies get laid off during the first round and negative nellies don’t get promotions.
7. Passion: Know what your working for and why. Understanding your purpose for being at work will drive you in some of these other areas. Whether it’s because you love your field or merely because you need to put food on the table for your family, this is critical for success in any endeavor. Use that passion to fuel your performance.
8. Being Coachable: you didn’t come into the job knowing everything but you need to be willing to learn. When the company introduces new policy and program, you need to be able to learn. Your attitude plays a role too. Sometimes I find myself making excuses for myself why I can’t meet a certain goal. “It’s too this or too that.” When really my manager is trying to teach it to me and I’m my negativity is dismissing it. Being able to grow and learn will play a huge role in your success.
9. Doing Extra: My secretary has an attitude of mine vs yours, when it comes to work ethic. She really feels like any task that is new, is a task being pushed on to her. “Why can’t X do this work, she’s been doing this all this time.” But taking extra work allows you to learn skills you wouldn’t be able to do in otherwise. It could be transferable to other jobs and can even make you irreplaceable at your job. I’m not the best, but am capable of doing everyone’s job and even training others about the job. That alone gives me more value. Maybe I stay late some nights, but I don’t worry too much about being put on the chopping block.
10. Being Prepared: I’m not good at this one but it revolves around being able have a conversation with your boss or coworker and knowing your facts. A lot of managers want to know details. “What’s going on, why are your numbers showing x, why did this customer say x about you. You made x report, I have a few follow up questions.” Being able to speak and present on the spot because you know your stuff can be career changing. You never know who you’ll meet or impress so being knowledgeable about what you’re doing is key.

I’ve learned a lot but these 10 lines stick with me and have helped me grow. Build a strong foundation for work and the building won’t fall when storms and wind arrive.

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18



Things I wish I knew when I was 18 just starting my adult life.

This time of year I get really nostalgic, is it really almost 2018?  10 years after the recession and 11 after my high school graduation?  God, if only I knew then what I know now…I would shake some sense into me!

Go to a cheap college

Either state or city school.  Don’t spend thousands and thousands of dollars on the private college experience unless you’re are getting a significant scholarship.  The experience just so you can party is a waste of time.  You’ll have to grow out of that behavior when your older and ready to settle down.  I bought into the whole college experience and literally felt bad for every one else who had to commute to their college and were unable to be “independent” and have fun.  

Now I envy their freedom from debt.  I did not think about student loans, what the interest rate would be or how it would effect me financially.  I didn’t even understand how much I was really taking. 

Don’t compare yourself so much to other people.  Stay in your lane.

I started college right before the start of the recession.  It was all about who was friends with who, what you wore, what parties you were invited to, and who you dated.   I really prioritized these things.  Facebook was just starting to take off.  (This was before it became a corporate spy for ad companies). I would literally get depressed if I saw friends having fun without me. (How dare they leave me out!) 

Now I’m so happy when I’m on Instagram or Snapchat.  Because everyone’s life should be awesome and it’s great seeing other people succeed and grow.  At the same time, I’ve learned how to humble and grateful.  I’m realizing how blessed I am. 

Do you, worry about what’s in your pocket!  

I used to care so much about everyone having the same opportunity, not selling out, and being fair.  What I didn’t realize was that by giving everyone a share of my pie, I really didn’t have anything for myself left.  I mean, didn’t I earn the whole pie? 

I shared way too much; my ideas, my time, my money.  And it was all because I wanted people to like me and not view me as selfish.  And 99% of them, are not even in my life anymore.  I really didn’t have to put all that effort, because the people who  are still by my side never really needed anything from me.

 It’s about how much you save

YOLO and FOMO were pretty much one of the worst, most unnecessary  campaigns of my youth.   

Like we totally fell for it. We bought things and went on trips with money we didn’t have all for the show of it. 

If I had cut back savings just for dumb things like coffee, alcohol, fast food, and general wasteful spending and then invested that in a mutual fund….I’d have a nice nest egg for a down payment on a home.  But unfortunately 18-25 yr olds don’t think like that.  YOLO! Oh wait, I’m here another day, just broke. 

Love is not a Disney story line.

I was really impractical and selfish during my early 20s.  I’m lucky was able to hold on to the man of my dreams but it definitely did not pan out like a Disney storyline.  At 21, I felt entitled like a princess.  My husband felt like he had to take me out on dates with money he didn’t have!  I sometimes felt like he wasn’t good enough. 😦  Little did I know he was Mr. Right, my Mr. Big.  We could’ve just saved a lot of fights and bad behavior if I wasn’t sooo cringey. 

Over time, I learned that I needed to bring something to the table besides being pretty and young. Relationships are really a give and take and not so much about you changing the other person but about being complementary. 

At 28, I’d say I feel more matured but if only 18 year old me knew these things.  Life would have been so much easier!


Any thoughts? Or anything to add?  Feel free in the comments below.  Getting older is great as long as your also getting wiser!

The Power Of Positivity


I like to consider positivity one of those things you just exude.  We all know that person who caries a cloud over their head, raining on everything and everyone around them and then there’s that person who brings light into every room they enter.  They greet everyone, laugh, remember your name and generally just have a good disposition.  When talking about the future or their current state, it’s all good!  And it’s not an act, these are people who generally believe it.  

There was this girl from law school that I knew.  She was very well liked, smart and…positive!  I never remember her complaining about the workload, the classes or really anything in general.  She worked hard, studied, networked through extracurricular activities. She had that confidence and believed in her work and her reason for being there.  That girl ended up winning.  She graduated among the top of her class and ended up in a great associates position at a major law firm.  I on the other hand was very negative at the time and ended up dropping out later that year. (More on that in another post)

I really didn’t learn the power of positivity until later in life. And it honestly makes a difference!  It changes your life! And best of all it makes you happy!

  1. Gratitude: At any given time we all have problems in our life.  A flat tire, a bad hair day, a lost loved one, a hard day at work.  And it’s so easy to focus on these issues but what about the good things in your life?  What about your family or great partner? What about the fact that you’ve made it to X years in your life? You’re still here enjoying what it means to be human! What about the food on the table, your job, the clothes on your back the God-given gifts life has presented you?  Now imagine you spent as much time feeling this positive about what you have in life vs what’s wrong.
  2. Affirmation: Even if it’s not true say it and make it true.  Last night I was working out with my Husband, he was helping me out with weight training.  He likes to push me.  Meanwhile, I haven’t done a single push up in, like, 8 years.  The phrases I said were, “I can’t,” “it’s too much,” “you’ve lifted more weight than me.”  He kept pushing himself, “come on!” “Let’s go!” After he was done with his set, he’d push himself further, “two more!” Again and again. My point is, believe in the goal and the goal will come.  Reality starts with thought, positive or negative, and that is what the outcome will be.  My husband really believed he could lift the weight, and even when he was tired and pushing himself, he could.  Write down your goals. Say them aloud every day, affirm them.  You’ll be surprised at how easily the ideas come  to you, as well as the willpower to make them happen .
  3. Action: Because positivity is nothing but hope without action.  You can keep saying your mantras, keep having positive thoughts but if you’re not willing to put in the work to make it happen…then I’m sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, it ain’t falling out of the sky and happening for you. You need to ask yourself the hard questions.  What are you willing to do to make this happen? What are you willing to sacrifice. Because all gains in life start with sacrifice and work.

What I’m really saying is that changing your attitude and your perception coupled with action can bring blessings and “luck” into your life.  Give it a try, seriously. Maybe positively can’t change all the problems in the world, but it will definitely change how you feel about them. 🙂

Motivational Book Club: The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

I have a confession to make.  I am in debt.  I am in debt up to my eyeballs.  At this point I have almost 50K in student loans.  Me and my husband are also wasteful spenders.  We kind of already know this but also ignore it.  You name it, we spend on drinking, restaurants, unnecessary bullsh*t that we don’t need.  We have no real money because of our debt.

So I picked up this book because I love the topic of money and managing my money and wanted to see if maybe there was a better way to go about it. We’ll let me just tell you, at first I was skeptical some of the changes he suggested, like selling your car or getting rid of your car lease in exchange for a used fully paid car,m.  It seemed severe.  But I did the math and Dave’s formula for money success made sense!  And maybe it isn’t the fastest way, its likely the easiest and clearest way for the Average American.

Key Highlights:

Debt Free- means no payments either for student loans/ car payments/ credit card etc.  Most people have this but Dave says “Imagine you didn’t have to pay those payments, how that would free up your income.”  In my opinion, he has a pretty decent though challenging system for clearing these debts.

Budget- goes into some detail about eliminating wasteful spending and avoiding “Keeping Up With The Joneses” mentality.  Me and Hubby don’t really need to be going to the fancy restaurant every week and taking Snapchat pics titled “Love BAE!”  Yes, I indulge in that behavior.  I am one of those people.  Wasteful spending is probably the first place you can tackle any money issues.

Emergency Fund- Most people rely on credit cards if a large emergency were to pop up.  If a spouse loses a job or a major medical bill/car bill hits you unexpectedly.  My dad had always told me that you should have at least 6 months savings for this reason, so I knew this was good advice when I read it.

Saving for Retirement/Debt Free/Home Buying and Beyond-Dave’s math makes sense.  Once you no longer have to pay off debt, that frees up your income A LOT.  I actually haven’t gotten to this point yet but it all seems very solid.  It would be really nice to have the freedom to plan your retirement and maybe even save to pay your house upfront!  

Overall this is a book I would recommend for others to get a grasp on their finances.  At the very least it should assist you with a plan to get out of debt. 

 There were some limitations.  

It’s really not going to be of any use unless you are willing to downsize/ change your lifestyle/ commit several years of your life to debt reduction/ if your spouse had a spending or gambling problem. 

I also thought that the ending was really rushed in terms of getting to major wealth.   Getting to the point of living off investments and no debts would require tremendous sacrifice for 15-20 years.  The last chapters doesn’t explain distribution of wealth well enough to feel obtainable. 

One last gripe I have are the stories that were used to support his theories and ideas.  He used about 30 stories.  I hope this isn’t petty, but there wasn’t enough minority representation.  It was mainly middle class White Americans with average or above average income who had  fallen into bad debt from their own misspending.   I’m Latina/Asian mix and the only representation of my race was a single Latina mom who had 2 kids:  Really?!  Come on, Latinos could have been better represented.  Also the stories with the single income family with homemakers also made me cringe, that’s also unrepresentative of a majority of families now. 

So there you have it, after reading this book, I was able to talk to my husband put a budget together and make a solid plan for knocking out that 50K student loan in 1 year as opposed to 5.  This was better than student loan refinancing that would still take 3 year at at least 3%.  I also realized that the mutual fund I had was useless if I was spending 6% interest a year on a 50K loan.  Cashing out and being broke is better than  stringing myself along with debt. Will keep you guys updated on my progress.

If any of you have read this book, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.  


The Total Money Makeover