Overcome Your Anxiety. 5 Ways I Worked To Overcome Mine

Last week I had an anxiety attack. My job has gotten incredibly stressful between my Director firing everyone under the sun and us getting into the busiest season for my industry as an understaffed and under-trained team.  It’s just been too much pressure.

I’m sure everyone feels like this at work sometimes and we all have our triggers. So I spent last Thursday and Friday off trying to unwind and not let my work take over my life. Then on Thursday, I felt so negative and restless. I was thinking about all these work problems. Like OMG I’m going to have to train all these new people, I’m not getting recognition, and this sucks. I started kinda feeling sweaty, upset with a pit in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. It was physically uncomfortable and I didn’t know why I was feeling like this. I wanted to feel like my normal calm self. I thought, I shouldn’t feel this way on my day off. But the discomfort and negative feeling wasn’t going away.

I was having an anxiety attack.

Anxiety is basically when you worry, feel negative or feel stress to the point where you are inducing your fight or flight instincts. This causes a negative physical reactions like increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, restlessness, sense of impending doom, stomach or chest pains etc.

I tend to also get moody during these intense attacks. I was texting my husband just trying to get over it. And thankfully I did, years of anxiety have helped me manage it much better so at least so I’m not taking it out on someone else.

Here’s what’s helped me:

1. Recognize Your Anxiety

It seems so obvious but a lot times I didn’t realize I was going through an anxiety attack until it was over. My negative thoughts seemed so real to me. They aren’t even logical or rational half the time, but in the moment they are very real. So recognizing what is happening during an attack can be hard and confusing. What helps me to realize I am having anxiety is just to say what I am feeling out loud. “I feel upset” or “I feel anxious.” Just saying that helps me feel in control of what is happening. Ill usually follow with “Why?”

2. Figuring out your triggers:

Not understanding what causes anxiety is like being on a boat without a paddle. You’ll never understand why it’s happening and you’ll just feel helpless and anxious for the next attack. If you get attacks frequently, keep a diary of what you were doing and what you were thinking prior to the attack. Keep a log of the thoughts you had during the attack and how long the attack lasted. (Do this after the attack is over). I used to watch a lot of reality TV in college and was glued to my social media. I started having attacks and lashing out towards my (now) husband. Over time I realized that I was lashing out because the reality TV shows were making me feel bad about myself and I was always comparing my life to this and that on TV and thinking how boring and uneventful my life was; these thought were causing my anxiety. Right now I’m having anxiety from work so I can’t change my situation…

3. Confront VS Avoid

Is it better to confront or avoid you triggers? It depends. In the situation where I was getting anxiety from social media and reality TV, it made sense to avoid. I don’t NEED to have that in my life. On the other I NEED to work so I can’t just avoid going to work. In the situation with work I’m going to have to learn how to deal and confront that anxiety head on. My advice for confronting your anxiety you can’t avoid is just to immerse yourself in it.

I used to also get a lot of social anxiety where I would feel nervous if I had to socialize in a large group. I would nitpick conversations in my head and beat myself up if a conversation didn’t go my way. To overcome this, I became a real estate agent so I can meet many different people without feeling to much pressure to be perfect. And it worked! I’ve met hundreds of new people and now striking up conversation is not unusual or difficult.  Over time I became a smooth socializer, and am no longer anxious about what other people are thinking about me or if I said something wrong. In certain situations, confronting what is making you feel anxious, especially like an every day occurrence like socializing, can absolutely help you cope and overcome that worry.

4. Take A Different Perspective:

I was still feeling really anxious that day and just wasn’t feeling good in my own skin. I knew I was being anxious and irrational so I just sat down and began writing my own thoughts out. I made a list of what I was thankful for, what I wanted to change in my life and brainstormed how I could make those changes. As soon as I was done I felt better. Like I had control over my life. Switching your frame of thought can absolutely help you overcome anxiety attacks. It takes practice because your problems in the moment feel so real and insurmountable. But all problems come with solutions, even if it takes a long time to see results. Thinking about all the great things in my life helped me minimize my worries and realize my problems weren’t as large as I thought.

5. See A Therapist:

if you have persistent negative thoughts, worries and anxiety I would recommend seeing a therapist. I haven’t been to a therapist but I think we should all evaluate where our self depreciating thoughts and anxious worries are coming from and a therapist can do just that. There no shame in it and you can always test out different therapists if you feel like one isn’t the right fit for you.

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5 Amazing Ways to Alternative Living. Live Outside the Box.

I chose to be a corporate cog. I have a husband and daughter and we need insurance and a steady paycheck….for now. But I still try to find ways to make money on the side.

One thing we can all accept is that we all have to make a living but some of us choose to make money on our terms and determine how we want to spend our time. They say time is money so let’s discuss the different options out there to build an alternative career that’s both fulfilling and great for time management.

1)Blogging:

I’m a natural writer. But blogging is a long term game like any other business you start. You have to keep at it and write amazing content, work your SEO keywords, market through social media and (Gasp) even pay marketing/business costs. I think for the people who’ve made blogging a livable career, they’ve made a commitment to make it work and done whatever it takes to get there. The best part about it is that there are unlimited possibilities about what you can write about. It’s a great way to connect with people who have similar interests and motivations. If you’re serious about blogging, I would give it 2-3 years before you’re able to see livable-wage worthy income. It’s definitely something that can be a side hustle before you’re ready to make it your only income. Still, it 100% depends on you and how much time, money and effort you can invest.

2)Freelance And Gigs

The gig economy is bigger than ever. People are stepping away from corporate life and enjoying being a free agent, representing themselves and their interests in the job market. Websites like UpWork and Fiverr have made it easier for people looking for work alternatives to build their own brand and client base. Of course, most businesses like this won’t come easy but people have stuck through it and have built incredible business models. I just saw an Ad on Facebook for a Harvard Grad on Fiverr that acts like a professional guidance counselor.  He offers writing, revising and editing your resume or LinkedIN account. Based on the comments and his ratings and reviews on Fiverr it seemed like he was making A LOT of money from there and was building a unique business. Some people were questioning, “Oh, if he’s a Harvard Grad, why is he freelancing?” Well, Mrs Debbie Downer, maybe it’s because freelancing can be awesome if you’re making a lot of money from it and have a great work/life balance.

3)Temp Work- I have my qualms about temp agencies but it can be a great way to just fill in the gaps in income. Depending on the agency and your specialty you can work project to project or day to day. The company I work for uses temp agencies exclusively for our receptionist and admin positions. Even though the business relationship is, well, “temporary” that’s something that can go both ways. You don’t have to stay or even give notice if you have a better opportunity come your way.

4. Trade work or apprenticeship- there are sooooo many great jobs out there. And they are not all white collar jobs. I once knew a guy who worked for as an HVAC Technician. He worked with his hands on refrigerators and air conditioner systems. You know, fixing them and installing them for businesses. He had his truck and would work only like 40 hours a week. He was protected through a union and made $35 dollars an hour plus overtime! I’ve also seen electricians make $100k a year. And guess what, these blue collar jobs are in high demand mainly because a majority of our population decided they wanted to go to college and pursue white collar jobs. So now he can move from company to company, negotiate his earnings or work conditions because he’s a hot commodity worker!

5)Creative/Social media work-Social media has created such an incredible industry. Thousands of people are making money online with social media. What used to be a way to just connect with people is now a major business model as “Influencers” and “Bloggers” make their money selling their social media posts to sponsors as advertisements. Now having 10K or 50K worth of friends or followers can mean some major dollars. It doesn’t even have to be from an aesthetic standpoint of being an instagram model or twitter/YouTube celebrity. There are artists, scientists, dancers DIYers, etc. sharing their passions and building sponsorships and making great income.

For these alternative career paths, the key is to start early and just stick with it. Like any individual trying to build their own business, consistency is KING! I wouldn’t expect blogging or social media work to pay out initially but long term, the sky is literally the limit. There are bloggers and Influencers making $100k a month! And you don’t have to jump feet first, you can make any of these options a side hustle or part time work until you’re comfortable going all in.

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Motivational Book Club: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson

Motivational Book Club: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson.

I forget where I heard of this book before. Maybe it was last year but it was recommended as a book about thinking outside the box. I’m always perusing through the self help section on Amazon so I decided to pick this one up. This is a book recommendation for those who are feeling stuck or unmotivated. This became a best book to read in 2016/2017 when it became a NY Times Best Seller.

Some background on the author, Mark Manson is a guy who made a living during the recession blogging, mainly about relationships, life and everything in between. He amassed a huge following and wrote a book that became a best seller. My life goal in a nutshell.

I read it front to back and would over the course of 3-4 days and it’s definitely a good book to read for anyone that needs a different perspective on things.

Mark describes himself as unreflective, unaware and an asshole but, through the his blog and life experience, has become successful from just not caring. I initially thought this would be an introduction on how to be a person who gets what they want from doing what they want without regards to others but, thankfully, it’s much deeper than that.

He takes you on a journey, through his own and other well researched stories, about how we tend to create values and box ourselves in with those values. “Not Giving A F*ck” is basically about questioning those values and the importance they should have in your life. He implores us to ask how we obtained those values and whether they are values we should hold ourselves accountable for. There are “shitty values” that most people have and “healthy values” that help us in life to be better people.

I loved how he encouraged us to find meaning in our lives and think introspectively.

This is not a book on how to be more successful or how to get more out of life. It’s about thinking about the life you already have and questioning your values and meaning. I thought it was great for people like me that tend to overthink things. There was a section that discussed the benefits of just being content with what’s in front of you. So many people are constantly reaching, not able to enjoy what’s right here and right now. The most insightful part was about “Not Being Special,” and that is was OK to not be special. Constantly needing outside affirmation that you’re special is a recipe for discontent and unhappiness.

My favorite quotes were:

“Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something”

This was part of the Failure/Success Paradox chapter that basically reaffirmed that you can never be successful unless you fail a significant amount at something. With each failure you learn, and that brings you to success.

“Life is about not knowing and then doing something anyway. All of life is like this. It never changes.”

This was part of the Do Something Principle. Sometimes we’re just so afraid of failing, we do nothing. Well, doing something is better than nothing.  Or we start something, get discouraged, and do nothing before we reach success.  I can definitely relate to that.

This book suggestion is perfect for people who either think too much, are not introspective  or lack control in their lives.

If you’ve read this book, feel free to add to the discussion in the comments.

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Top 6 Ways To Maintain A Work Life Balance When Your Job Is Stressing You Out

Not many people can honestly say they have a good work life balance. I feel like I’m always chasing  paper or time. Time back from my commute, time for my family, time back from my overtime. There have been moments I’ve worked less and made less money. There have also been times I’ve worked more and made more money. But I’ve never worked less and made more money. And yet I keep finding myself chasing that elusive unicorn job.  The one where we have enough time during the day to get things done. Where we get an hour lunch break, where there some light politics but no animosity.   But while we are chasing for the perfect job we have to try to make the most of the job we have now.  Here are some ideas

1. Time Management: Is probably the best but hardest thing to master. Determining what can wait until the next day and what you need to do now based on priority. You don’t want to take care of all the non essentials and then at the end of the day scramble to take care of what you are now realizing is a must on the to do list. Taking a few moments to collect your thoughts and make a list of what you need to do for the day.

2. Cutting BS activities: sometimes we engage in non essential work habits that we “think” are productive but are really a waste of time and causing your hours to be longer. Things like engaging in office gossip, constant bathroom and smoke breaks, the lunch hour that over extended. It’s ok to engage in these activities here and there but constant and daily disruptions to work will be noticed by higher ups and will extend your work day and make you less productive.

3. Delegate: I really struggle with this one. I really think I’m the best person to do the work so I’ll take on all the work I can, then I’ll burn out badly. Taking work off your shoulders and giving it to someone else might seem like you’re passing off your responsibilities but it’s really not. In a Corporate environment usually the workhorse takes on everything, sacrifices personal time and energy to get everything done. Do you want to be the workhorse? Everyone should do their share and if you feel overwhelmed don’t be afraid to speak up and give work off to others who are less busy, then hold them accountable for their work.

4. Take Time Off: Take all your PTO, especially if it doesn’t roll over. Take personal days and sick days if your not feeling great. I usually take a mental day after a long project.

5. Don’t Be The Workhorse: Learn how to say “No I’m not going to do this. Not because I don’t want to but because I can’t.” Learn to say no if you think something might be unfair to you. The workplace is cold-hearted and everyone is vying for their own interests. My experience in the corporate world is that these companies can take the best intentioned employees, the ones that are passionate about their work, and turn them into human capital to be exploited for productivity.  Saying no sometimes allows you to create boundaries that are needed.

6. Live Closer To Work-Commuting sucks. I have a 2 hour commute round trip and If I could shorten it I would. Often we have to consider work life balance in the sense of, am I willing to spend more on rent to get time back for my commute? Right now I’m not in a position to move but do try to take into account heavy traffic times so I can try to minimize time lost in traffic.

7. Change Careers: I decided I wanted to be in real estate. I wanted the big money.  And after 5 years I finally have all the money needed to pay off my student loans. I’m also working 50-70 hours and work Saturday. Even if I changed jobs the hours would likely still include weekends and evenings. I need a career that is more flexible, work from home, or I need to save more so I can eventually scale back the hours. Changing careers is not always feasible, definitely not at the drop of a hat, but I’m making serious moves to change that and free up some time, even if it means a pay cut.

Quality of life VS Cost of living. That’s always the underlying question when it comes to work life balance. Feel free to comment below your tricks to balancing it all.

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Thinking About Working For Yourself? Consider These Strengths & Pitfalls!

Thinking about going it alone, quitting your job and starting your own business? Or maybe you’re tired to trying to make ends meet and just want a stable job with benefits? There’s a lot to consider when deciding on what kind of work you want.

Over the past couple of years I’ve worked for myself but recently made the change to work for an employer. Both come with their own share of positives and negatives. I’m a corporate employee by one of the largest real estate company in my area. But personally, I have a preference for being self employed.

Pros of Being Self Employed

Not Having A Boss:

Is probably the sweetest part of not being employed by a company. I don’t have to answer to anyone other than my clients. My career is not determined or influenced by one single person. As an independent contractor, I had kiss ass with clients but if a person didn’t like me or respond to me by giving business then it wasn’t the end of the world. Working for a good, caring and mentoring boss is probably the rarest thing in the world. I wouldn’t depend on it. People I could look up to in my industry fell far and few between but working for yourself means you’ll only have to look up to yourself.

Sense of purpose: I knew exactly how I wanted to run my business. I knew I could find a way to make money that would fit my lifestyle and personality. I motivated myself and kept my spirits up during slow periods because at least I was “making money on my terms.” I’m employ

No Red Tape:

I really like not having Red Tape on how to run my businesses or how to do things. Creative solutions are welcomed when you run the show. No rules or regulations. You can go as far as you want to go. Some people feel stressed in that kind of situation. Like, “What do you mean I can do whatever I want and how I want it??” “This is chaos!” Nope, with choices come freedom and innovation.

Flexible work hours: Ok it wasn’t that flexible. I had to work when my clients were available which in real estate meant evenings and weekends. But it wasn’t every weekend and it wasn’t every evening. If it was slow, I worked less. If it was busy, I worked like a dog. I’m in real estate which is a demanding industry. Some other versions of self employment can be more flexible like freelance writing, consulting or social media marketing.

Sounds really awesome, right? Why doesn’t everyone just work for themselves. Why would anyone work for “The Man”?

“The Man” pays your taxes and subsidizes your health insurance/benefits:

Did you know that your employer pays your taxes? Specifically part of your social security tax. An employee pays 6.2% and an employer will pay the rest. When you’re self employed you’re paying the whole 12.4% for social security. What about your commuter benefits? Health insurance premiums, what if you had to pay the premiums outright or pay out of pocket? PTO is also pretty nice. Not going to work but getting paid anyway. These are things that we just expect when employed but self employed individuals have to cut into their profits to cover these costs.

You Get Paid No Matter What:

Whether it’s a bad day or a good day, you get a check at the end of your two weeks! I don’t know about you, but I like to get paid. Having to hustle day to day or deal to deal in order to make income can get tiresome. The truth is when you’re self employed your not going to make as much in the beginning as your employed counter parts. There’s no promise you’ll even succeed to make equivalent to what you would have made if you were employed. The beginning of starting your business will likely be slow and you’ll need some sort of cushion to break yourself in.. my first year in real estate I made -$6000. I made negative income!!! The cost of my business was more than my income. I lost money. Then my second year was $36K, then 46k. Now I’m making double that being employed.

When it comes down to it, the type of employment you choose is entirely up to you and is a personal choice you have to deal with

What Does It Take To Be Charismatic and Likeable?

I had a request about how to be more confident and I thought why not, let’s talk confidence, charisma and magnetism. And it’s honestly a hard topic to write about or even grasp. Confidence is such an intangible quality that is so allusive to most people. But we are all drawn to it.

I’m a natural introvert. In high school I was like a wallflower; I was quiet, soft spoken, trying to fall under the wings of my more extroverted friends. I always associated confidence with being outgoing, popular, attractive, friendly and extroverted. I painfully tried to fit in with my friends by displaying these characteristics. At the end of it all, I still wasn’t confident. I was negative and jealous with a victim mentality. I had social anxiety; I would scroll through my newsfeed with a feeling of missing out… I was unhappy during high school and college because I was constantly comparing myself to everyone around me.

Fast forward to 2018 I’m now the most confident version of myself. I’m magnetic, charismatic and likeable. I can talk to pretty much anybody and have accomplished most of my life goals. Last year I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I was hoping to see some friends I fell out of touch with. I wasn’t afraid to go up to people and mingle, I also wasn’t second guessing myself when I felt like sitting on my own and observing. I was happy and content to just be there, unapologetically.

I’m going on a tangent about my own self growth but the point of the topic is that self growth and confidence doesn’t come to everyone overnight. For some people it comes easier, but everyone is capable of being confident, charismatic and magnetic.

Work on the life you want for yourself.

I want you to close your eyes and envision the confident image you’ve always had for yourself. I want you to really think about that person. What they look like and what they are doing with their life. Are they with a career and family? Is that person traveling? Are they living in the big city? Are they the rock for their immediate family? Then I want you to think about why you came up with that image. What are your values that are creating that image? These are your core desires and not fulfilling them are what is causing that feeling of dissatisfaction/ lack of confidence.

On a side note: these values might change over time. You might get to where you were going and realize, “hey, this isn’t really where I wanted to be. Let me tweak this a little.” That’s ok too.

Once you realize what your values are and what you want from your life, you’ll be able to set real goals or accomplish them. I’m not talking about “oh, I want to be a entrepreneur and be my own boss in a few years or I’m going to be dating the love of my life soon” type goals.

I’m talking concrete goals with a tentative completion date. Actual steps to make that a reality.

Confidence, Charisma and Magnetism is hard work. People who display these kind of characteristics tend to invest A LOT into themselves. They get these qualities from genuinely loving and appreciating the life they worked hard to achieve. There’s no shortcut.

I know for the past 10 years I’ve been pushing this image of myself. Little ole’ 19 year old me wanted to be a career woman, a reliable outgoing personable personality and be with my man of my dreams who truly loved and cared for me. For the past 10 years every choice and decision I made has been to grow in those areas. And now I’m finally comfortable in my own skin knowing that the person I always knew I was capable of being is truly who I am now.

This post is just an introduction on what changes you’ll need to take to get there but feel free to read my other post on personal growth, The Power Of Positivity and The Power Of Change.

Why I Budget and How to Budget: Personal Finance In A Nutshell

 

I used to sit with my dad as he combed through the finances, his brows furrowed in concentration.

He’d sit on a stool at our open kitchen and just devour the information over a cup of joe. I was curious. Why did he devote all this time to his spreadsheet? Was this a work project?

He went over how he calculated all the household expenses and income and balance it all. He kept tabs on check balances and even his car depreciation.

It m kind of went over my head. I was busy just trying to figure out what I wanted for breakfast or how to laze around for the day. I honestly spent a majority of my 20s not knowing about my finances or how much I made. I always worked during college and had a plethora of jobs after. I could afford the things and experiences I wanted, but I didn’t really know how much was being spent; how much was wasted or saved. To this day I wonder, could I been saving during this time?

The first time I had to budget I just made a list of the income and combed through every single expenditure that I made. Then at the end subtracted the expenses from the income. Every coffee I bought, every lunch I ate out, and every trip to Target I took was recorded. It hurt. I literally cringed when I realized how much was being wasted.

I mean, did I really spend $50 on coffee this month??

And what was that subscription on my card? They’ve been charging me for over a year!

I realized I could be saving thousands a year and making more of my money if I accounted for it all and held myself responsible on how it was spent. However, I realized this wayyy too late in the game; the money was already spent. I felt really bad after realizing how much was wasted. Part of me didn’t want to keep going and budgeting, that’s how bad I felt.

Now It’s been 3 years of budgeting. 3 years. I keep it all on a spreadsheet. Google Spreadsheets :). I can track how much my income has increased in those 3 years. I can track how much my overall spending has been by category. I can brainstorm on ways to cut costs or increase income. I can make long term goals like paying off all my debt and estimate the last payment date.

Omg I love spreadsheets!

And I don’t spend hours upon hours on it. I pretty much spend a half hour tracking my spending twice a month. Once in the middle and again at the end. Literally ONE HOUR a month. I recommend setting mid month goals and then reassessing for the latter part of the month if you clear or are unable to meet your goals

Below is a simple sample of what you can do

Income

Take home Salary $2500

Expenses

Rent $-700

Food $-250

Transportation $-200

Internet $-50

Electricity $-50

Phone $-70

Misc (shopping/medical related costs/eating out) $-600

Credit card payments $-100

Student loans $-150

Total expenditures= $-2170

Savings $330

Tip: Put your savings towards credit card debts and student loans to make the payoff date faster. Or save part of it for an unexpected expense.

I wouldn’t say budgeting will fix any money problems overnight but it will definitely give you a sense of control over your finances, plan for a rainy day and create a long term plan with goals. But personal finance and gaining control of your spending/earning is the first step.

Feel free to comment below on your goals or feedback on your budget!

Dear Single Friends, This Is Why You Are Still Single. Love, Your Married Friend.

This post is not meant to be a personal attack on single people or say marriage is better than being single. This post is for single people that want to be married and want advice from a married person.

I don’t know if this post will be popular or if I will get a lot of backlashed comments but here we go…

1. You are unrealistic: I hate to put it this way but the dating scene is a market like any other. We all come with strengths and weaknesses. Pluses and minuses. We can’t all get prince charming or the hottest babe at the beach. You really get what you bring to the table. And you need to be honest with yourself with what it is and manage your expectations. Declaring yourself a “bad bitch” and “all that” is great talk. But are you independent? Are you compassionate? A good cook? Caring? Genuine? Breakups usually happen when one or two people in a relationship realize that there was a misrepresentation somewhere and there isn’t any true compatibility.

FeedMe

2. You’re selfish: I have single friends who are this type. Demand, demand, demand. They make their partners jump through hoops, complain about everything their partner does wrong. Does not share time with their partner but expects their partners to drop everything for them. These selfish types are usually lots of fun but leave a string of heartbreak and disappointment behind them.

3. White nights/Florence Nightingales: they love to make people people better, even at their own expense. They are the opposite of the selfish type. They enable but eventually resentment slips in for all the “sacrifices” they made in the relationship. Most of all they need to be with partners they can accept, not change.

4. Peter Pans: they are never going to grow up. Time is not on their mind and they think they have all the time in the world to find a partner. They are not mature enough and they know it. They are afraid of making the wrong decision so they avoid making decisions in their life that have long term meaning

5. No self love: this is probably the most important and underlying problem. This probably underlies problems 1-4. Self love is so important. Not loving yourself, understanding yourself, accepting yourself and working on yourself can cause a whole set of behavioral problems. Accept your own faults and then work on them. We aren’t perfect but we need to accept ourselves and grow.

I think the key to a life partner is self love, genuine love and care for your partner and the right expectations. It’s easier said than done but relationships are a lot of work. It can be easy to some and harder to others. Long term relationships can be so rewarding, but they often don’t come easy.

This post is meant to inspire and create conversation. As my first post on relationships, feedback is most appreciated

The Power Of Change

In a previous post I mentioned the power of positivity. I think now is a good time for me to discuss the power of change.

Right now I’m going through a lot of change at work and it’s really stressful. My manager left and it took 1 and a 1/2 months for them to bring on a new person. We are severely short staffed and everyone is stressed and overworked. Apparently this is a good time for my Director to come in and shake things up. In his time at our office, he changed our deal flow, set up a billion meetings and let our underperforming admins go.

Le Sigh…now all of us (me) have to pick up all the slack.

Change in an organization is scary, but it’s also a time to shine. It’s a time when, let’s face it, shit hits the fan.

While my director was there I did all my duties, with no complaint and then some extra. I took this opportunity to make sure all my strengths were known and I took on a lot more to show I was reliable.

My receptionist didn’t fare so well with this change. I tried my best to keep her spirits up but I think she was reaching the end of her rope. In one meeting she basically said, “This is not my job, this is not what you hired me to do.”

We’ll..she just signed her death note. A week later my Director was making plans to send her packing. “We need people with a positive attitude and who want to be here,” he said. He wasn’t wrong. She was getting paid for her time there, not just for her responsibilities. It wasn’t expected she would take on those responsibilities forever and her resistance to taking on the extra work made her look like a slacker.

Change is natural in an organization. One persons opposition is not going to stop the will of the organization and the change that comes with it. Accepting change and greeting it with positivity can help you be perceived as a “Team Player,” “Progressive,” and “Positive.” It can lead to more opportunities and career growth. And being open to change also gives your managers/directors confidence that their ideas are valid and worth consideration. (Since then, my Director has confided in me that his job is actually really thankless).

My receptionist is gone and I really wish she would have just put on a happy face. She knew her job but the additional tasks that she opposed so fiercely cost her a job.  Now she’s back on the job hunt searching for work.

Change is vital and necessary.   Professional growth rarely comes without price.

Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation. –Mahatma Gandhi   Motivational quote of the day.

When Good Enough Is Okay

We live in a society that’s all about reward and recognition. We want to be the best, the smartest, the prettiest, the coolest. It’s a huge pressure we carry around, and we don’t even realize it.  As millenials, we tend to put a huge amount of expectation on our selves to perform and be overall successful by society’s standards.

When I was 21 I would cry in my bed just thinking about how everyone was having so much fun without me. Facebook was not nearly as political back then and it was all about getting likes and being in other people’s pictures. I wanted to be the prettiest and most liked and I would agonize over not being invited to stuff and, essentially, the center of attention.

But at 29, I can honestly say that those days I spent crying over problems I created were a waste. Days that I spent comparing myself to others were also wasteful. Not being happy with myself was so obvious, I’m sure I would made more friends if I was more positive and open.  Not being happy or confident in myself meant that I wan’t attracting, through the law of attraction, good things in my life.

I’m going on a tangent but I was good enough but unhappy about being “mediocre.” Mediocre is such a harsh word and I don’t think it should be applied to people. Now I’m finally at a place where I can say “Yes, I’m doing okay and that’s good enough.” I think it has a lot to do with gratitude and being grateful. I touched on gratitude in my last post.  They say “Perfection is the enemy of good,” and I would agree that perfection is not attainable.

Examples of Good Enough

1. Putting food and shelter over your head for the entirety of your adult life. (You get an A+ for doing this for multiple people)

2. Getting a passing grade in Algebra when you’ve always struggled to learn math.

3. Working 40 years in the same position but being able to retired with a comfortable nest egg.

4. Going to any college and finishing.

5. Not going to college and completing technical school.

6. Being married for 30 years and raising a family.

7. Being healthy and going to the doctor for regular checkups.

8. Creating a workout and meal plan, not always sticking to it but trying anyway.

9. Not having a large savings yet but being debt free.

10. Being of average appearance but keeping clean and well groomed.

I’m not saying we should abandon our aspirations and dreams.  Inspiration can come out of being ordinary.  Inspiring others by being a positive person with good thoughts and positive thinking. Being content with how things are today are the foundation blocks of growing and building as a person. When I started in my industry, I sucked. But that was good enough until I finally got better. I kept working on it and I’ll keep working on it. I didn’t let fear of failure or not being the best hold me back from what I intended to do with my life to be successful on my own terms.  Life isn’t fair and life isn’t perfect but you can’t let that fact keep you from trying. How’s that for a Motivational quote!

So I would say, it’s okay to be good enough today and it will be fine to be good enough tomorrow. Focus on what values you want to carry in your life. Being good enough in areas that you don’t value won’t matter in the long run.